To Whom it May Concern:

I’m frustrated.
I’m frustrated, I’m frustrated, I’m frustrated, I’m frustrated, I’m frustrated, I’m frustrated.

This whole loosing my license thing really sucks. 
And I feel like I’m going to be paying for it for life.
I get my license back on May 4th, but only (maybe) until November 6th, when my trial date is. I know that I deserved my penalty, but can’t you just go into your trial, apologize for what you did, write a letter to the judge saying that you know you did wrong and you’ve changed since? Theres no way I can lose my license again for a YEAR. If that happens I might as well kill myself. Fuck. 

Okay.. I’m going to try to look at the positives.. I got a job offer at Safari Niagara to start this week. I have a job at a bar where I get cash every shift (SAVE IT UP). I still might have a job offer for TO Zoo.. If I get the job at TO Zoo, I also have an interview for a bar in TO. So either way, I should have at least 2 jobs this summer (SAVE IT UP).

May 4th is when I can drive again. And May 4th is “MAY THE 4TH BE WITH YOU” in Toronto, which I’ll be going to with two of my buds. And after that is the May the 4th Boulder night at the Grotto, where I get to paint Adams face like Darth Maul and paint mine like (Br)oda as well as paint the boulder walls. Amazing stress relief.

Lets not forget I also have all this vacation time stored up.. And one of my good friends and I plan on going to Hawaii soon to use that vacay time.

But by God am I still frustrated about this. My mom and I used to each have a car. After my fuck up she traded it in for a newer used car. Then we got in an accident with that SAME car.. So because it was used we got back shit all from our insurance company. BULLSHIT. Now we are out a car. For fuck sakes.

So on top of not having a license (potentially), we also don’t have a car for me to drive EVEN IF I get my license back for good. DAMN.

I just want this summer to be perfect. I want to work at the TO zoo. I want to see a Jays game, I want to go to CW, I want to travel to numerous places, and I WANT to go for road trips. 

Now I guess all I can do is pray.. Does that work even if you’re not religious? Or would it do the opposite of what you hope it will? Cause I need all the help I can get. Maybe I’ll find a genie and wish to win the lottery.. then I can pay my fines, repay my mother, and pay off my student loans.. and have money left over to get a car and afford my insurance on my own.

Wishful thinking.. its all I have. 

<3, Lyss

PS sorry for all the anger. Just really needed to let it out.