Not sure what to write about. Being sick gives you a lot of down time, but it also clouds your thoughts immensely. Right now all I can think about is the fact that I feel so alone, yet I know I am not.
We can’t change our choices we’ve made in life. We can’t change the past. But if I could, I know I would. I feel as though the more I try to make everyone else happy, the less I make myself happy. That isn’t healthy.
There was another who made me happy, but I quickly realized how one-sided our friendship really was. I was always the one driving hundreds of kilometres on my days off. I was the one making plans. I was the one who cared. And eventually I was the one ‘to blame’ when I drank too much at a party. Go figure. I made them happy and in the end, I was the one who got screwed.
There is someone who makes me happy just as much as I make them happy though. Even called me when they found out I was sick. Hopefully something will come out of this. Someday.
<3, Lyss
